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Can marriage counseling break stubborn cycles of defeat?

Marriage Counseling:
If only my spouse ...

Many days I actually hurt as I empathize with folks who keep stepping in the same holes, in the same roads, no matter how hard they try not too. This is exactly what motivated me to receive Prayer Counseling Ministry as marriage counseling. I was just sure that the "other person" was the problem, until I noticed that in many of my relationships, I seemed to experience the same pattern. I had tried marriage counseling of all types. Finally, I admitted that I was simply reaping dishonor that I had sowed against my parents and authority figures. I had to admit that my dishonoring and critical attitude was the factor that kept this cycle going and my repentance was key to successful marriage counseling.

So - I forgave them, asked God to forgive me for dishonoring them, released God from the blame I had placed on Him, asked God to forgive me for my judgments and dishonor and I forgave myself for sowing this awful pattern into my life. If there was bad fruit on my tree, the bad root was in me!

This kind of marriage counseling unlocked my relationships and they have been different ever since. Heb. 12:14-15 says that I was defiling them with my bitter root judgments and expectations -- of my parents in the past and in my current relationships! When I truly repented, either they changed or my defiled perceptions changed. It sure felt better - either way. The pure in heart can see God and others better.

God's Righteous Judgment
Rom 2:1-5 Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. 2 But we know that the judgment of God is according to truth against those who practice such things. 3 And do you think this, O man, you who judge those practicing such things, and doing the same, that you will escape the judgment of God? 4 Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance? NKJV

Please allow me to encourage you with some testimonies about stubborn cycles that have been broken. This kind of marriage counseling works!
MARRIAGE AND FAMILY COUNSELING
I learned that condemning judgments and dishonoring of parents can cause the problem to come back on you and your marriage. Since I have learned the Cross Walk Prayer, I am praying it all through the day and I am teaching it to my 3 children. We have already experienced real change from so many things. I now say "I got the power!" [God has made it so easy: in every area that you truly repent of dishonoring your parents, those same areas will begin to go well in the whole family!]

I WAS 50% OF THE MARRIAGE PROBLEM!
For years, we had strife at our house which was devastating to all of us. We had tried deliverance and several Christian counseling ministries, with only very brief relief. My spouse had almost given up and I was desperate. Then I began to understand my 50% of the problem. I was able to get enough healing so that I could begin to trust God with my spouse's problems as well. One of us had to be spiritual first! The first month, I saw positive changes in both of us even though I was the only one receiving counseling. Now we are both moving forward in faith and able to SOW the love into our marriage that we have always wanted to REAP! [It works! Repent of your judgments and dishonor of your parents so that you do not have to reap those things anymore. Now, sow what you want to reap!]

MY FAMILY CHANGED TOO!
My parents had always been undermining and hateful to me, treating me like I was a problem. I prayed to forgive them, release God from blame and to forgive myself for receiving their rejection. My mother has changed and so have I! I took her on a day trip and we both enjoyed each other as if we had never hated each other. I have new peace and joy. God is truly transforming our family! I will be careful to honor my parents from now on. (Eph.6:1-3)

MY BITTER EXPECTATION DEFILED HER!
I had always thought my sister was irresponsible, lazy and mooching off my family. I prayed to release her from my judgments against her and asked God to forgive me for having bitter expectations that defiled her. (Romans 2:1-4, Hebrews 12:14-15) Mom says that she has gotten her own home, a job and is taking care of her children. All these changes happened within a month of my prayer of release. [Our judgments of other people help to keep them from growing the very way we would like them to.]

DON'T JUDGE YOUR SPOUSE!
I was not aware of how my judgments of my spouse had affected my marriage and my children. When I repented of judging my husband, he became attentive immediately. When I got home from the counseling session, he had already begun to change. He had fed and bathed our children and had them in bed asleep. Now he is asking me to be more involved in the family! We are a new couple!

If you have a testimony to add, feel free to send it to contactus@cwlinc.com

Cross Walk Prayer

Years, ago my life began to change, as I learned to pray the Cross Walk Prayer from Ellen Ferry in Atlanta, Ga. Many of you have made a lifestyle of praying the Cross Walk Prayer and would like to have a copy of it to share with others. Please forward my version of it to anyone who desires to take the easy route to blessing: Come into agreement with God about your sinful reactions to problems in your life.

Dear Lord Jesus,

I have a negative pattern in my life, that is not Godly and I cannot get rid of it by myself. I know that a bad fruit has a bad root. I don't want this pattern of _________________ any longer. I don't want to reap this in my own life or in the people around me. Please show me the spiritual root of it and how to deal with my part of this problem.

Did I sow this myself and now I am reaping it, more and later? Gal. 6:7-10
Did I dishonor my parents or other authorities in this area? Eph. 6:1-3
Did I judge someone and now I draw that very thing to me? Matt. 7:1, Rom. 2:1-4
Has a bitter root expectation sprung up in me, defiling others? Heb. 12:14-15

1. I RECOGNIZE that the reason this problem of _______________________ is now a pattern in my own life, is because of my sinful reaction of (dishonor, judgment, sowing the sin myself or bitter root expectation.) The fruit is that now I am reaping similar problems in myself and others around me according to the LAW of sowing and reaping. I am reaping this crop because of my sinful reactions to their sin.

2. I REPENT for reacting sinfully to them. I choose to come into agreement with you, Lord, and to have your reactions. Please forgive me for blaming you, sowing similar sins myself and for not forgiving myself.

3. I RENOUNCE my sin of dishonor, judgment, sowing the sin myself or bitter root expectation. I choose to forgive them, releasing them to you, the Judge of all the earth.

4. RELEASE me from reaping this crop that is now mine to reap because of my sinful reactions to others.

5. I RECKON dead on the cross all flesh that identifies with this reaction and all automatic reactions that I have developed with it. I ask you Jesus, to bring it to death, because I cannot. Create in me a pure heart that agrees with your responses.

6. RESURRECT your likeness into every area that you have brought to death.

7. RESTORE all the years that the locusts have eaten while I was disobedient. I ask to
RECLAIM all the spiritual blessings that I and my family have missed.
REWARD us for generations to come, as we sow true discernment, grace and mercy. Thank you Lord for the forgiveness you have provided for us on the cross and all the blessings that we are free to walk in now. We believe you for them! Amen

If you want to learn the easy way and MUCH FASTER ... Simply make a list of all your parent's faults (without mercy.) Assume that as a child, you probably judged and dishonored them as some point. You can include other authorities too, if you really want to get freedom fast!! Pray the prayer now BEFORE the bad seeds flower!

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"And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment ..." Phil. 1:9