Often, when we find ourselves over reacting to
current situations, it is because emotions from past hurts are spilling
over our defensive walls into our present reactions. How many of these
defense mechanisms do you use? Think about it. Be aware that they could
be indicators that your healing is not yet complete.
- Rationalizing - I don't over react often, I don't
really have a problem.
- Minimizing - I don't react half as bad as they do.
- Sublimating - I clean house or exercise when I start to feel the
- Cockiness - I got it made, these other folks are losers.
- Justifying - If you had a wife/husband/family like mine, you
would be angry too.
- Projecting - You manipulate and say the other person is the one
who is upset.
- Blaming - Its because they make me mad. It is my job stress.
- Humor - This isn't serious. Life is a joke.
- Intellectualizing - If I can understand it or analyze it, I have
it under control.
- Lying - I haven't had that many run-ins; I get along with
- Manipulation - If you quit complaining, I'll quit
- Accusing - When you criticize me, it makes me eat even more.
- Threatening - Get off my back or you will be sorry!
- Judging - If you just wanted to do ______ right, things wouldn't
be so bad.
- Explaining - Oh, I am not well enough to work anymore because .
- Analyzing - I started using more because of ____, it will slow
- Arguing - I'm not an alcoholic; I've never
gotten a DUI or . . .
- Defiance - I dare you to prove that I'm cheating!
- Withdrawing - If I don't do or say anything, they
will leave me alone.
- Shouting - Leave me alone, I don't want to talk about
- Silence -
- Smiling - Just laugh it off. Nervous smile. Become the office
- Compliance - I just do and say what they want.
- Spiritualizing - God doesn't see my bad behavior. I'm forgiven.
- Fantasizing - They would never treat me the way they did their
- Religiosity - Good Christians don't need counseling. They are
Did that clear up a few things for you? We all have unconsciously
chosen defenses that we use to try to hide our feelings rather than feel
them or heal them. Actually, defensiveness doesn't hide hurts well
either. It has been said there is no such thing as an unexpressed
emotion. It will come out sooner or later.
If we continue to try to hide our hurts and don't allow truth into
these areas, these hurtful emotions will come out at some point without
our permission. We can choose the time and place that we will share
those negative feelings or they will erupt when our buttons are pushed.
We can choose to be healed quickly, without reliving the trauma,
without analysis, without years of counseling, by choosing healing
through Restoration Prayer Ministry.
Contact us for information about Restoration Prayer Ministry or read
What is it?
Some of these items were taken from Dr. John Suler's free handout at