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Often, when we find ourselves over reacting to current situations, it is
because emotions from past hurts are spilling over our defensive walls into
our present reactions. How many of these defense mechanisms do you use?
Think about it. Be aware that they could be indicators that your healing is
not yet complete.
- Rationalizing - I don't over react often, I don't really have
a problem.
- Minimizing - I don't react half as bad as they do.
- Sublimating - I clean house or exercise when I start to feel the guilt
again.
- Cockiness - I got it made, these other folks are losers.
- Justifying - If you had a wife/husband/family like mine, you would be
angry too.
- Projecting - You manipulate and say the other person is the one who is
upset.
- Blaming - Its because they make me mad. It is my job stress.
- Humor - This isn't serious. Life is a joke.
- Intellectualizing - If I can understand it or analyze it, I have it
under control.
- Lying - I haven't had that many run-ins; I get along with everybody.
- Manipulation - If you quit complaining, I'll quit
drinking/using.
- Accusing - When you criticize me, it makes me eat even more.
- Threatening - Get off my back or you will be sorry!
- Judging - If you just wanted to do ______ right, things wouldn't
be so bad.
- Explaining - Oh, I am not well enough to work anymore because . . .
- Analyzing - I started using more because of ____, it will slow down
later.
- Arguing - I'm not an alcoholic; I've never gotten
a DUI or . . .
- Defiance - I dare you to prove that I'm cheating!
- Withdrawing - If I don't do or say anything, they will leave
me alone.
- Shouting - Leave me alone, I don't want to talk about it!
- Silence -
- Smiling - Just laugh it off. Nervous smile. Become the office
clown.
- Compliance - I just do and say what they want.
- Spiritualizing - God doesn't see my bad behavior. I'm forgiven.
- Fantasizing - They would never treat me the way they did their last
spouse.
- Religiosity - Good Christians don't need counseling. They are already
healed.
Did that clear up a few things for you? We all have unconsciously
chosen defenses that we use to try to hide our feelings rather than feel them
or heal them.
Actually, defensiveness doesn't hide hurts well either. It has been said
there is no such thing as an unexpressed emotion. It will come out
sooner or later.
If we continue to try to hide our hurts and don't allow truth into these areas,
these hurtful emotions will come out at some point without our permission. We can choose the time and place that
we will share those negative feelings
or they will erupt when our buttons are pushed.
We can choose to be
healed quickly, without reliving the trauma, without analysis, without years
of counseling, by choosing healing through
Restoration Prayer Ministry.
Contact us for information about Restoration Prayer Ministry or read
RPM - What is
it?
Some of these items were taken from Dr. John Suler's free handout at http://www.rider.edu/~suler
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