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Healing Your Inner Child of the Past

Many times, during our healing process, we come face to face with forgotten memories. We chose to forget them because they were too painful to deal with. Now that we are in a safer place, these memories will start to come forward in order to be healed. We want the healing but we don't want to relive the pain. During Restoration Prayer Ministry, we can invite Jesus to touch these memories as soon as they come forward, without having to analyze them in great detail and relive all the pain.

In the meantime, we may feel confused. We are faced with new information that is disturbing. We may want to reject that "inner child of the past who had problems" and tell them to shut up. We can "lock them up again" or - we can choose to finally listen to them and feel their feelings. We can hug them and nurture them with understanding. We can give our little one inside the unconditional love and acceptance that they never got. They need ministry too. Everyone has an inner child of the past who still has needs. We will either try to force others to meet these needs or allow Jesus to meet them.

If God is choosing this time for those memories to come forward, then we can ask Him to be there to comfort, to heal and to take the pain away. God will ask others to be there to hear us out too and to be safe places for us to go. We were hurt in relationship and will be healed in relationship also. Try not to push these comforters away.

Our inner child of the past may need to hear some things over and over again. They may need to be reassured that the family problems were not their fault, that they were not to blame for the abuse, that they were valuable even if their parents didn't seem to think so, or that what they choose to say and do is important. We can cherish them and the positive aspects of our past "without throwing the baby out with the bath water," if you will. There's no getting around it now; this little one needs to be loved as much as a visible pre-schooler who has just been clobbered on the playground.


So what can you do if you feel like you hardly know this little one who has big needs?

  • accept their child-like feelings because they are a child

  • be prepared for strong emotions like hate, suicidal ideas or punishing thoughts

  • allow suppressed though difficult emotions to come out for healing

  • try to identify emotions: fear, hurt, frustrations, grief, loneliness, anger etc.

  • take quality time to get acquainted and nurture their forgotten needs or hurts

  • know that it is normal to have to learn to love yourself

  • know that memories tend to come out at unexpected times

  • know that memories can be body memories with sensations that are unpleasant

  • try not to deny your memories but to accept them little by little

  • accept each piece of the puzzle as it comes, with new understanding

  • allow others to hug you and to share in your healing process

  • tell others when you need to be alone or go to a safe place

  • let others help you when you are angry; try to allow a win-win situation

  • try not to transfer your anger to others who try to be there for you

Little children don't think in abstract terms; they need concrete reassurance and comfort. They may push you away at first and test your willingness to be there for them. Generally, though we all need to be hugged, even if no one has the answers. We all need to be heard and to know that we are important.

When you are ready, you can simply ask Jesus to come and touch your inner child of the past. He will touch your walls like fear, shame, anger, control and tough exteriors - if you invite Him too. He will be glad to go back in time and touch your little one in a way that no human can do. We humans are just there, like Jesus' arms with skin on, to hug you while He does the healing. He will come to restore all the has been stolen from you and He will do it in surprising ways and through unexpected sources. Avoid being demanding of those who want to love you; let Jesus be the Healer. Only He can satisfy.

Remember in John 17 that He prayed that we would be "one" as He and the Father are one. His desire is to restore us to wholeness, as we invite Him to go to the back rooms of our hearts "where even we don't go." He is waiting to fill those empty places as only He can fill them. You can depend on Him to do it. He came and experienced every hurt and shame and He understands. Read Isaiah 53 in the Old Testament of the Holy Bible. Then read this verse in the last book of the Bible.

Rev 3:19-20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. NIV

If you would like to read testimonies about others who have invited Jesus to touch their hurtful memories and tear down defensive walls, click on True Stories. Remember, we are here for you, so please call and make an appointment for Restoration Prayer Ministry. Jehovah Rapha heals, Carlotta