How Can I Help
Survivors of Abuse?
The first way
to help is to admit that I won't have all the answers. What
people want from me is unconditional love and acceptance,
while they find their healing and their true identity. If I
am able to patiently stand with others, who need healing but
may sometimes test me, may sometimes seem to "not need me,"
then I will be able to welcome them, affirm them and to be
available when they do need me.
I must learn
to fight the forces of darkness in a spiritual battle, in
the invisible realm through intercession, when the survivor
cannot fight for themselves. God will give me the revelation
I need for the fight as we go, words of wisdom and
knowledge, information that we would not normally know in
the natural. He will enable me to discern the debilitating
lies, false accusations, false self-image and destructive
words that the devil uses to fragment, destroy and enslave
survivors.
I need to
speak words of faith daily, believing that God loves,
redeems every experience, takes the pain away and equips
anew because He has a very good plan and purpose for their
life. I can speak healing often, knowing that God's desire
is to make all the weak places strong, transforming the
darkest places of their heart into beacons of light, which
eventually be strong enough to help others. I can learn how
to bear another's burden without being drowning in their
unspeakable pain.
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My prayer for those of us who desire to help survivors, goes
like this:
Lord, you are
a spring of compassion, welling up in me, that will never
run dry. You know all of the deep wounds and effects of
abuse in this precious one's heart. You know the angers that
rage and the questions that have gone unanswered. Only your
goodness can undo all the unspeakable evil that has been
done to this innocent child.
Help me, Lord,
to no longer deny the unbelievable, to let go of my shallow
agendas and to get seriously involved in helping the
helpless. Help me to sort out my own questions like, "Where
is God in abuse?" I choose to trust You on behalf of those
who have no faith, to go back in time and to restore all the
years that have been stolen, to restore all the blessings
that have been lost and to replace all the dead empty places
with fullness of life. I believe You, Lord, for a whole
network of helpers who are committed to providing safe
understanding relationships for survivors and their families
as they courageously believe for wholeness again.
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Lord, tell me
when to write encouraging notes, when to call and listen,
when to invite them out for fun, when to just be there for
them, when to ask for professional help and when to take
care of myself. Lord, help me to discern how to love each
part of this person's fragmented personality to life with
your grace and inexhaustible compassion. Love each child
within, appropriately for their age, with your creative
spontaneity.
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Lord, as I walk through the
process of healing with this one, I trust You to replace our
horror and shock with understanding, our grief with your
healing balm, our broken-heartedness with new hope, and our
resentment, rage and bitterness with a willingness to let-go
and let you be the judge and jury on our behalf. Help us to
let go of futile attempts to collect this great debt and to
let you repay all that was lost.
I choose to
give permission to this one to be an important person, with
needs, preferences, choices, safe boundaries, God-given
identity and purpose and freedom to be interdependent,
rather than dependent on me. I will keep speaking the truth
of their God-given inheritance in Jesus Christ, to be
unconditionally accepted, totally forgiven, to be loved and
loveable.
I pray they
will have the courage to heal and to try on that new
identity - having been forgiven and made holy, righteous and
blameless totally apart from their past and performance. My
prayer is that I will be a demonstration of the passion of
Jesus Christ, who came to earth to take every pain, grief,
shame, fear and every horror upon Himself, replacing it all
with His love, joy and peace past understanding. His heart
alone is big enough to not only contain all the pain - but
to take it all away, making us safe healed people who can
partner with Him in healing people. Amen
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If you would
like to partner with us in offering healing to survivors,
please contact us. We offer training and support as we
believe God to develop a whole network of helpers.
One in Him,
Carlotta
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