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How Can I Help Survivors of Abuse?

The first way to help is to admit that I won't have all the answers. What people want from me is unconditional love and acceptance, while they find their healing and their true identity. If I am able to patiently stand with others, who need healing but may sometimes test me, may sometimes seem to "not need me," then I will be able to welcome them, affirm them and to be available when they do need me.

I must learn to fight the forces of darkness in a spiritual battle, in the invisible realm through intercession, when the survivor cannot fight for themselves. God will give me the revelation I need for the fight as we go, words of wisdom and knowledge, information that we would not normally know in the natural. He will enable me to discern the debilitating lies, false accusations, false self-image and destructive words that the devil uses to fragment, destroy and enslave survivors.

I need to speak words of faith daily, believing that God loves, redeems every experience, takes the pain away and equips anew because He has a very good plan and purpose for their life. I can speak healing often, knowing that God's desire is to make all the weak places strong, transforming the darkest places of their heart into beacons of light, which eventually be strong enough to help others. I can learn how to bear another's burden without being drowning in their unspeakable pain.

I can agree with the prayer that Jesus prayed in John 17, that we would all be one as He and the Father are one. I can choose to be a safe person, worthy to hear the confidences that I am trusted with. I choose to believe that God desires to restore each one to wholeness as they gain the courage to trust Him with areas that have sometimes been suppressed for many years.


My prayer for those of us who desire to help survivors, goes like this:

Lord, you are a spring of compassion, welling up in me, that will never run dry. You know all of the deep wounds and effects of abuse in this precious one's heart. You know the angers that rage and the questions that have gone unanswered. Only your goodness can undo all the unspeakable evil that has been done to this innocent child.

Help me, Lord, to no longer deny the unbelievable, to let go of my shallow agendas and to get seriously involved in helping the helpless. Help me to sort out my own questions like, "Where is God in abuse?" I choose to trust You on behalf of those who have no faith, to go back in time and to restore all the years that have been stolen, to restore all the blessings that have been lost and to replace all the dead empty places with fullness of life. I believe You, Lord, for a whole network of helpers who are committed to providing safe understanding relationships for survivors and their families as they courageously believe for wholeness again.

Lord, tell me when to write encouraging notes, when to call and listen, when to invite them out for fun, when to just be there for them, when to ask for professional help and when to take care of myself. Lord, help me to discern how to love each part of this person's fragmented personality to life with your grace and inexhaustible compassion. Love each child within, appropriately for their age, with your creative spontaneity.


Lord, as I walk through the process of healing with this one, I trust You to replace our horror and shock with understanding, our grief with your healing balm, our broken-heartedness with new hope, and our resentment, rage and bitterness with a willingness to let-go and let you be the judge and jury on our behalf. Help us to let go of futile attempts to collect this great debt and to let you repay all that was lost.

I choose to give permission to this one to be an important person, with needs, preferences, choices, safe boundaries, God-given identity and purpose and freedom to be interdependent, rather than dependent on me. I will keep speaking the truth of their God-given inheritance in Jesus Christ, to be unconditionally accepted, totally forgiven, to be loved and loveable.

I pray they will have the courage to heal and to try on that new identity - having been forgiven and made holy, righteous and blameless totally apart from their past and performance. My prayer is that I will be a demonstration of the passion of Jesus Christ, who came to earth to take every pain, grief, shame, fear and every horror upon Himself, replacing it all with His love, joy and peace past understanding. His heart alone is big enough to not only contain all the pain - but to take it all away, making us safe healed people who can partner with Him in healing people. Amen

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If you would like to partner with us in offering healing to survivors, please contact us. We offer training and support as we believe God to develop a whole network of helpers.

One in Him, Carlotta