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How
Can I Help Survivors of Abuse?
The
first way to help is to admit that I won't have all the answers.
What people want from me is unconditional love and
acceptance, while they find their healing and their true identity.
If I am able to patiently stand with others, who need healing but may
sometimes test me, may sometimes seem to "not need me,"
then I will be able to welcome them, affirm them and to be available
when they do need me.
I must
learn to fight the forces of darkness in a spiritual battle, in the
invisible realm through intercession, when the survivor cannot fight for
themselves. God will give me the revelation I need for the
fight as we go, words of wisdom and knowledge, information that we would
not normally know in the natural. He will enable me to discern the
debilitating lies, false accusations, false self-image and destructive
words that the devil uses to fragment, destroy and enslave
survivors.
I
need to speak words of faith daily, believing that God loves, redeems
every experience, takes the pain away and equips anew because He has a
very good plan and purpose for their life. I can speak healing
often, knowing that God's desire is to make all the weak places strong,
transforming the darkest places of their heart into beacons of light,
which eventually be strong enough to help others. I can learn how
to bear another's burden without being drowning in their unspeakable
pain.
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My
prayer for those of us who desire to help survivors, goes like
this:
Lord,
you are a spring of compassion, welling up in me, that will never run
dry. You know all of the deep wounds and effects of abuse in this
precious one's heart. You know the angers that rage and the
questions that have gone unanswered. Only your goodness can undo
all the unspeakable evil that has been done to this innocent
child.
Help
me, Lord, to no longer deny the unbelievable, to let go of my
shallow agendas and to get seriously involved in helping the
helpless. Help me to sort out my own questions like, "Where
is God in abuse?" I choose to trust You on behalf of those
who have no faith, to go back in time and to restore all the years
that have been stolen, to restore all the blessings that have been
lost and to replace all the dead empty places with fullness of
life. I believe You, Lord, for a whole network of helpers
who are committed to providing safe understanding relationships for
survivors and their families as they courageously believe for wholeness
again.
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Lord,
tell me when to write encouraging notes, when to call and listen, when
to invite them out for fun, when to just be there for them, when to ask
for professional help and when to take care of myself. Lord, help
me to discern how to love each part of this person's fragmented
personality to life with your grace and inexhaustible
compassion. Love each child within, appropriately for
their age, with your creative spontaneity.
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Lord, as I walk through the process of
healing with this one, I trust You to replace our horror and shock
with understanding, our grief with your healing balm, our
broken-heartedness with new hope, and our resentment, rage and
bitterness with a willingness to let-go and let you be the judge and
jury on our behalf. Help us to let go of futile attempts to
collect this great debt and to let you repay all that was
lost.
I
choose to give permission to this one to be an important person, with
needs, preferences, choices, safe boundaries, God-given identity and
purpose and freedom to be interdependent, rather than dependent on
me. I will keep speaking the truth of their God-given inheritance
in Jesus Christ, to be unconditionally accepted, totally forgiven, to be
loved and loveable.
I pray
they will have the courage to heal and to try on that new identity
- having been forgiven and made holy, righteous and blameless
totally apart from their past and performance. My prayer is that I
will be a demonstration of the passion of Jesus Christ, who came
to earth to take every pain, grief, shame, fear and every horror upon
Himself, replacing it all with His love, joy and peace past
understanding. His heart alone is big enough to not only contain
all the pain - but to take it all away, making us safe healed
people who can partner with Him in healing people. Amen
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If you
would like to partner with us in offering healing to survivors, please
contact us. We offer training and support as we believe God
to develop a whole network of helpers.
One in
Him, Carlotta
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