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Bitterness: Imprisons Yourself and Others
When someone wrongs us, we choose not to forgive them and sometimes we even judge their motives behind their actions. We completely skip over God’s grace and His forgiveness.
What is a stronghold? We build up
strongholds in our hearts when we have been hurt. We do this
in order to keep more pain from coming in. How do they
begin? First, as our hearts experience heart break and pain,
we allow a sinful reaction to the pain. Then, we begin to
defend our reaction to the pain. Strongholds begin when we
defend our sinful reaction because of their sinful behavior.
After sinful reaction comes a sinful behavior.
For example, my sister may say something completely uncalled
for and rude. I’m hurt by it. There is no sin in being hurt
by something someone said. However, as you allow that pain
to fester in your heart, resentment starts to grow and
you’re most definitely heading for trouble. Instead of
forgiving my sister, I allow my heart to swell up with
unforgiveness. Next, I lash out on her on several occasions.
She may have forgotten the incident, but I have not. I allow
the stronghold to make its appearance in my life and I allow
it to stay. My parents try to confront me about my
behaviors, but I justify it, saying she hurt me.
What do strongholds do? They cause us to be separated from
God, others, and ourselves. Is this God’s plan for our
lives? This is most definitely a part of Satan’s plans. When
we allow strongholds to rule over us, we are walking
according to Satan’s plans, not God’s. When we choose to
come into agreement with God’s will and ways again, we will
experience freedom from these strongholds. We need to put
off our old self that was crucified with Christ and put on
our new self that was raised with Him in the resurrection!
Matthew 16:19
says, “I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven;
whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and
whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” What
an awesome promise this is! As we choose to walk in His
freedom and break free from our strongholds, God will help
us and show us to freedom! Don’t lose hope. Don’t think you
are passed the point of no return. God can save you. Do you
not think His death on the cross is enough to bring you
salvation? God wants to see us walk in freedom! He won’t
force us to, though. What decision will you make? His blood
is enough to help us break through our strongholds. We can
bind ourselves to the heart of God and His responses rather
than Satan’s heart and his responses. Choose to walk
according to His plan and purpose.
I want to write about the stronghold of bitterness. This
stronghold has manifested itself in many ways my life.
However, since strongholds are usually not evident to the
person who holds them, I didn’t see them. My family and
friends around me saw, of course, but I didn’t. It’s kind of
like having something painted on your forehead. You can’t
see it but everyone who comes into contact with you can see
it. It’s not until you look in the mirror that you
notice something is wrong.
When does bitterness start? When someone wrongs us, we
choose not to forgive them and sometimes we even judge their
motives behind their actions. We completely skip over God’s
grace and His forgiveness. One part of the Lord’s prayer has
always stuck out to me: “Forgive us our debts as we forgive
our debtors.” What does this mean? It means that just as
we forgive others, He is going to forgive us. In other
words, if you’re holding forgiveness back from someone, then
God will hold forgiveness from you.
Do you have to forgive them even if they haven’t apologized?
Yes! Jesus forgave us before we even sinned. He set
the example for us and we are to follow it. What if they
don’t repent? I’ve held forgiveness back in my heart because
I doubted they would change, anyway. However, who are we to
judge their hearts? We can’t sit up there with God, helping
Him judge, as much as we would like to. If we forgive them,
does that mean they’re “off the hook” with God? No. They’re
still responsible for their own sin. However, we need to
forgive them for what they have done to us so God can
forgive us. We have no right to sit in the Judge’s seat and
condemn them. Leave that to God.
Whose fault is it that we have this stronghold of
bitterness? Is it because of how we acted or how they acted?
It’s comparable to Adam blaming his sin on Eve and Eve, in
turn, blaming it on the serpent. We need to take
responsibility for our own actions and find freedom from our
strongholds. What is the advantage of retaining your hurt?
When we, as believers, allow Jesus to take our pain and
wounds, He will leave the memory to serve as a reminder to
avoid strongholds in the future.
It also helps us to minister to others who may be
experiencing serious pain or stronghold. In their song,
“Heal the Wound, Point of Grace sings, “Heal the wound, but
leave the scar, a reminder of how merciful you are. I am
broken, torn apart. Take the pieces of this heart and heal
the wound but leave the scar.”
In addition to imprisoning ourselves to this stronghold of
bitterness, we imprison them because the bitterness
we hold against them expects them to stay the same. It’s
harder to stop doing something if someone is continually
discouraging you. Imagine you’re running a race. Instead of
hearing cheers, encouraging you to press on, you hear
discouraging shouts of, “You’ll never get to the finish
line!” What does this do to you? As we judge and condemn the
person who has hurt us in our heart, we condemn them to be
the person we don’t want them to be. We’re agreeing with the
devil’s plans for us and their lives.
Is that what God wants? Is this walking according to God’s
will or Satan’s? Who do you want to follow? When we forgive
others, Christ forgives us. He is just. He wants to see us
walk in freedom. He wants us to forgive so we can enter into
rest and so our heart can be at peace. Don’t be disobedient
to Him. What will our next response be to pain? Will you
resist the devil? Submit to God and resist the devil and
he will flee!
Dear
Jesus,
I’m tired of being bitter. I’m hurting myself more than I’m hurting others. You don’t want me to live in hurt. You want me to be healed. I have to do my part, though. I choose to forgive those who have hurt me. You forgive me when I choose to forgive others. You paid the highest price so I can be forgiven. I’m sorry for withholding forgiveness from others. I’m sorry for not forgiving myself, as well. I loose myself from the Spirit of Bitterness and Unforgiveness. I bind myself to forgiveness, mercy, and Your grace. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I’m tired of being bitter towards others, myself, and ultimately, You. I’m sorry. I accept Your forgiveness and I choose to walk this path of forgiveness.
In Your Powerful Name,
Amen.
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